{"id":12749,"date":"2014-07-04T18:06:11","date_gmt":"2014-07-04T22:06:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/?p=12749"},"modified":"2014-07-04T18:06:11","modified_gmt":"2014-07-04T22:06:11","slug":"stranger-on-a-hard-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/?p=12749","title":{"rendered":"Stranger on a Hard Road…"},"content":{"rendered":"

photo-2-small.JPG<\/a><\/p>\n

The fields are ruined, the ground is dried up; the grain is
\ndestroyed, the new wine is dried up, the olive oil fails.<\/p>\n

Joel 1:10
\n__________<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like I wrote before, a few blogs back. It\u2019s been a different kind of spring, this year. I had a whole lot of problems, with my heart running wild on different levels. I slogged through that. And then, right as that situation was stabilizing, Mom passed away. Seemed like it was one thing after another, rolling right on in, this spring. And I tried to speak it, tried to write it, as I was walking down that road. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve settled down a good deal, lately. Just kind of settled into a new routine. You can\u2019t change what happened. It all was what it was. And now, it all is what it is. I’m in a different place. And it just takes a while, for me to process new realities, I think. The reality that I am no longer young, and that I have issues with my heart. I used to say, when people asked me how old I was. I don\u2019t feel my age. But now I do. I feel my age, older even, sometimes. And I do get through all that processing of new places, eventually. It just takes me a lot longer than it does most people. Maybe it\u2019s because I insist on going all the way down to the bottom of things, insist on dredging out every last emotion, and explore the deepest and darkest crevices of every cave. That\u2019s the only place the really intense writing comes from, I\u2019ve claimed. A cave. I don\u2019t know if that\u2019s necessarily true for all writers, but I think it is for me. <\/p>\n

And the strange spring moved right on into a very busy summer at work. June was one of our busiest months, ever, in the history of Graber Supply. We moved out a lot of product. It\u2019s a job, to dispatch all that stuff. I scheduled and fretted and moved the loads about, to get them all delivered. It was a hectic month. It\u2019s always good to be real busy in your life, when you\u2019re coming out of a strange spring like the one I just came out of. <\/p>\n

You\u2019ll get yanked around, though, if you go feeling sorry for yourself about how tough your life is. You will. Something will come along to show you how good you have it. And something different came down earlier this week, something that gave me a whole new perspective on a whole lot of things. It was around mid-day, just after lunch time, and the office was pretty sparsely staffed. The phone call came in, and Rosita beeped me. \u201cIt\u2019s someone from Maryland who wants a quote on a building,\u201d she said. OK, I said. And she connected the call over. This is Ira. Can I help you? <\/p>\n

And the caller\u2019s voice was different, right from the first word. Kind of hesitant, kind of quiet and deflated. He was from southern Maryland. He wanted a quote on a new garage. Could I help him? Of course, I said. What size are you thinking of? And we talked it through, the size that he wanted. A pretty standard garage, with three Overhead doors on front. He wanted it to look good, the building. Overhangs. Wainscoting. A cupola with a weathervane. And after we had talked that through, I asked for his information. Name. Location. Is this a replacement garage?<\/p>\n

And in a tired and heavy voice, he told me. He was burning brush last week, and went inside his house to cool off. It was windy out, and the burning brush blew over to his detached garage, and it started burning. The fire trucks arrived, four of them, but the firemen could get only one water hose to work. (I think he was pretty far back in the sticks, from the sound of that.) So the fire jumped over to his house and burned it to the ground. He lost everything, except his dog and a few pieces of this and that.<\/p>\n

And right there, you have a choice, when you\u2019re talking to a total stranger and he tells you a story like that. You can make small noises of sympathy. Tell him you\u2019re sorry, and that you\u2019ll get that quote right out to him. Or you can engage. I didn\u2019t really feel like engaging. I was tired. I was busy. It was the early afternoon stretch, when you always feel like taking a nap. But still. Something made me pause. Talk to the man. He\u2019s not in a good place. He\u2019s on a hard road. I felt bad for him. That\u2019s a given. But you can feel bad for a person, especially a total stranger, and just walk on. I decided not to. So I asked him. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry about the fire. Did anyone get hurt? \u201cNo,\u201d he said. \u201cIt was just me and my dog in the house. He sensed something was wrong, his hackles rose up. So I walked outside to check, and there the garage was on fire.\u201d There was a lot of regret in his voice. He didn\u2019t say it, but I could feel it in him. If only he\u2019d kept a better eye on that fire. If only he hadn\u2019t been so stupid\u2026if only.<\/p>\n

It felt so alone, his voice. I asked him. Do you have family? A slight pause. \u201cI have one grown son in the area. I just got divorced last October.\u201d One grown son, in the area. What does that mean? Is that son with you, around you? And you divorced just last October? I wonder who initiated that. I bet it wasn\u2019t you. I think you\u2019re still hurting pretty deeply from that. You\u2019d have to be, it\u2019s still so close. I didn\u2019t ask those questions. Didn\u2019t make those comments. But they pulsed through my mind as we talked. This guy was hurting, here. Real hurt. That\u2019s what he was going through. <\/p>\n

The man continued. \u201cAnd last night I hit a deer with my car,\u201d he said, tiredly. \u201cI\u2019m wondering when it\u2019s all going to stop.\u201d <\/p>\n

I hunched back a bit. What can you even say to a guy going through all that? What can you ever say to a person walking a road like that, that won\u2019t just sound trite? But the question came, I\u2019m not sure from where inside me. Do you have support around you? I asked. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cFrom people I don\u2019t even know, some of them are church people.\u201d And it was about as I\u2019d figured. He doesn\u2019t have a lot of people around him. He doesn\u2019t have much of a support structure. He\u2019s pretty much alone. <\/p>\n

I sure am sorry to hear all that, I said. \u201cWell, the insurance company has been very good, so far, at least,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s not like I won\u2019t get reimbursed. I\u2019m staying in a real nice motel, and they\u2019re paying for that.\u201d But his voice was heavy. I figured he was probably a little older than me, from how he came across. I have no way of knowing that. But his house, his castle, and all the little details he had accumulated in his life, the record of who he was, all that was gone. And he kept on talking. <\/p>\n

\u201cI sure hope that one day God will let me understand why all this is happening,\u201d he said. \u201cEverything happens for a reason.\u201d Yeah, I guess, I said. I didn\u2019t tell him, because it wouldn\u2019t have been right to tell him. Because of the hard road he was on. Struggling to make some sense of what all was going on. So I didn\u2019t say it. But I don\u2019t believe that everything that happens has to have a reason. <\/p>\n

You can just be walking along all blithe and happy, like this guy was. He obviously loved his home and took pride in it. He was just out there, cleaning up a bit, and burning some brush. It was a hot day. So he walked inside to cool down in the air conditioning. And then he got clobbered. His garage caught fire. And then his house. And it all burned down to the ground, all that he treasured in his life. The material things, I mean. It all burned down. He lost pretty much everything he owned. And no insurance company\u2019s ever gonna get his stuff back, I don\u2019t care how much money they pay him. Totally random, I think, is what all that was. Just crap that comes at you in real life. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t take it with you when you go, anyway,\u201d he said, as we were winding down. \u201cI never saw a hearse pulling a U Haul trailer. Have you?\u201d Nope, I said. I totally agree with that. You ain\u2019t taking nothing with you when you go. None of us are. Well, hey, I\u2019ll get that quote out to you in the next few days. \u201cGreat,\u201d he said. \u201cI just don\u2019t know which way I\u2019ll go. I just don\u2019t know. I may just get a whole new place. The insurance people are telling me I have that option. But that spot where my home was is just so beautiful.\u201d Yeah, I said. I\u2019m sure it is. It was your home. <\/p>\n

He had one more thing to tell me. Or ask of me. \u201cIf you think about it, say a prayer for me,\u201d he said. Oh, I absolutely will do that, I said. I will do that. He thanked me. And we hung up. <\/p>\n

I thought about the guy, later. Actually, I\u2019ve been thinking about him a lot. I\u2019ve seen some tough times in my life. I think most people have. But I\u2019ve sure never been through anything like that, losing all you got, and not really having anyone there around you. I\u2019ve been close to destitute a few times, way back in my wild running around days. But even then, I never lost everything I owned. And I always had a safe haven to return to, if the worst came to worst. Well, a safe haven with a lot of stringent conditions. But still. A safe place. <\/p>\n

And a couple of things came to me, thinking about it all. Not that I got any explicit moral lessons, here. Just some loosely connected thoughts, and maybe a bunny trail or two. Like I said, I don\u2019t believe everything has to happen for a reason. Not to where it\u2019ll ever make any sense to you, anyway. Life is life, and a whole lot of it comes at you completely randomly. You walk through it the best you can, and when a tough road comes at you, you just slog on. You\u2019ll get through it. You will, if you keep walking. I can tell you that, from where all I\u2019ve been. And I\u2019ve been down some real tough roads, of every imaginable type. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s a big mistake, too, to believe that just because you\u2019re a Christian, bad things won\u2019t come at you. If you actually believe that, you are severely deluded. I don\u2019t know any better way to tell you. Bad things will come at you, even if you are a Christian. Maybe more than would come if you weren\u2019t. Not saying that last point is always true. But it sure can be.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen it so many times, in so many places. Where Christians are always acting so giddily happy and upbeat, and claiming to be so blessed, they can\u2019t hardly stand it. The Lord is so good, they gush. Well, yes. He is. He absolutely is. And He\u2019s always in control. Of everything. Everything that happens around you. Everything that happens to you. <\/p>\n

But don\u2019t pretend He protects you from bad stuff hitting you upside the head. Don\u2019t pretend you don\u2019t have your struggles. Don\u2019t pretend you got victory in all areas of your life. Don\u2019t pretend you are any better than the drunk, passed out in the gutter. You\u2019re not. Your heart is just as depraved as you’re judging his to be. Maybe more. Don\u2019t put that fa\u00e7ade out, to your church world or to the world outside you. It won\u2019t work. It\u2019ll all catch up with you and blow up, at some point. It just will. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve said it before. I guess I\u2019ll say it again. Talking to Christians, here. We\u2019ve all got our own idols. You got yours. I got mine. And in the end, those idols will be ripped from us, if we don\u2019t get rid of them on our own. They will be. By death, finally, if by nothing else. You will stand alone, and you will stand with nothing that you bring to the table to prove how good you were, how good and holy a life you lived. You will stand with nothing. Nothing, but the pure and undeserved gift of being an adopted child of God, covered by Christ\u2019s blood. <\/p>\n

All that said, I will say this, too. The guy who called the other day was struggling along on a far tougher road than any I have ever walked. I\u2019m thinking the next time I feel like grumbling about the hard road I\u2019m on, I\u2019m gonna look back and remember the one he\u2019s walking right now. <\/p>\n

And I will be grateful to be right where I am.
\n*******************************************<\/p>\n

OK. A few things to close out with. I probably won\u2019t be posting again for around four weeks or so. And no, it\u2019s not because I\u2019m all immersed in \u201cserious writing,\u201d or anything like that. I\u2019m taking a little trip, leaving in right about two weeks. I\u2019ve been looking forward to this trip for a long time. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s the second Bloomfield ex-Amish reunion (they call it the Bloomfield Amish Reunion, for some strange reason, but it\u2019s not my job to argue semantics), and it\u2019ll be held at a park just outside Bloomfield on Saturday, July 19th. An all-day affair, just hanging out. Anyone who was ever Amish in Bloomfield, doesn\u2019t matter when, or if you still are Amish, is invited. They had the first such reunion back in 2010, right when I was in the trenches, getting my book cranked out. I told them then. There\u2019s only one thing that could keep me from attending, and that one thing is the fact that I got a book to write. But I\u2019ll get there next time. I promise. That next time is coming right up. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m looking forward to it a lot. I have, for a long time. Looking forward to connecting with a lot of old friends from way back, and also to making new friends. A lot of people grew up there after I left, and I don\u2019t even know most of those that left after I did. <\/p>\n

Four of the original \u201cgang of six\u201d plan to be there. I think so, anyway. Marvin, Rudy, Vern, and me. Of course, Mervin still lives around there. He\u2019s the only one from the original gang that remains Amish. He\u2019s married, with a slew of children. Thirteen, I think. And he was ordained a preacher some years ago. I don\u2019t know if we\u2019ll stop by to see him, the four of us. But I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll drive around and visit our old haunts together. And we\u2019ll recall and rehash a lot of those old stories. <\/p>\n

I won\u2019t be hanging around the Bloomfield Amish much, I don\u2019t think. Sure, I\u2019ll stop by at Titus and Ruth\u2019s home a few times. I\u2019m always welcome there. Not saying I wouldn\u2019t be welcome in at least a few other homes. But it\u2019s not worth the hassle of figuring out which ones. And I\u2019ll be stopping by in West Grove to see Mrs. C and any of her family that\u2019s around. Her daughter, Linda, runs the caf\u00e9 now, in West Grove. It\u2019s just down around the bend from where the old original Chuck\u2019s Caf\u00e9 was. I\u2019ll stop by there, to drink some coffee. And to see if anyone these days even recognizes me. I won\u2019t be surprised, if no one does, not from the locals hanging out. It\u2019s been a long time, since I\u2019ve been a regular anywhere in that area. But those are always important, those old connection points. Those old friendships. <\/p>\n

The following week, I\u2019ll be heading south to Missouri to look up a few people. Just meandering, I guess. It\u2019s been too long since I\u2019ve meandered. So it\u2019ll probably be the week after that, the week I get back home, before you\u2019ll see any more writing from me on this blog. I\u2019m looking forward to the journey, and to telling you all about it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The fields are ruined, the ground is dried up; the grain is destroyed, the new wine is dried up, the olive oil fails. Joel 1:10 __________ It\u2019s like I wrote before, a few blogs back. It\u2019s been a different kind of spring, this year. I had a whole lot of problems, with my heart running […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12749","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12749"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12749\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12769,"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12749\/revisions\/12769"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12749"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12749"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irawagler.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12749"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}